All your friends might be talking about having sex (even if they are not) and this can put a lot of pressure on you to do it too. But becoming a man does not happen when you lose your virginity. Nor does it happen by having sex with many girls. Self-control, self-respect and the choice to make your own decision and wait for the right moment to share with the right person - are all better measures of manly behaviour. The truth is, losing your virginity or sleeping with someone is a private choice and it’s nobody else’s business.
There are lots of reasons to wait, but here are two really good ones:
- You won’t have to worry about how to avoid the possible consequences.
- You won’t have to worry about experiencing one of the consequences like a sexually transmitted infection (STI), HIV or an unwanted pregnancy.
What to think about first?
Think carefully before making the decision to go ahead. Some questions to ask yourself are:
- How will I know if I am ready?
- What are my personal reasons for having sex? Are those really good reasons?
- What do I want out of the experience?
- What do I expect to get out of the experience?
- Am I prepared get consent from my partner and to discuss prevention? Am I able to avoid the possible consequences, like STIs and pregnancy?
- How will I feel about myself and about my partner? How will my partner feel about me?
Sex can come with a lot of feelings and emotions that may be easier to deal with when you are older. Remember, if your partner says ‘no’ to sex, you need to respect them and listen to what they are saying. Don’t argue, be respectful. That is what makes you a decent person and a man!
Ignore what your friends say about sex. Choosing to wait or abstain is a good choice. It means staying 100% safe from STIs and the risk of an unwanted pregnancy.
Feeling horny? Find out how to deal with it below.